snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)
So a gentleman is on trial for smuggling gold out of the Royal Canadian Mint and as part of the investigation they had to test if their theory of how he did it was feasible.

I'm just going to post an excerpt from the interview. Some people really don't get paid enough.

From cbc.com

"CO: Did they show, or prove, that this is something that could actually go up someone's rectum?

KE: They did. There was testimony from the security people that they had actually tested this on a human being. And that when that person went through the metal detector, it went off. But when the person was given the secondary wand test, it didn't go off. So to them this was further evidence that indeed this could very well have been the method by which these "pucks" had left The Mint.

CO: Good heavens. Did the security person testify? I mean, do we know, was it a volunteer?

KE: Carol, I'm sorry. I don't know.

CO: Somebody drew the short straw on that one.

KE: Whenever you think you're having a bad day at the CBC . . ."


I know its bad but I can't stop laughing about this. Probably because this story is more than just eye opening! I mean who knew "puck possession" could mean anything outside of a hockey game...

Ok, ok. I'll stop now. If you want to read the rest of interview its here. It's literally comedic gold. D'oh! I did it again!  http://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-wednesday-edition-1.3772566/did-a-royal-canadian-mint-employee-use-his-butt-to-smuggle-out-gold-nuggets-the-size-of-small-muffins-1.3772867

snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)
I really don't. What do I say to 60,000 of my fellow citizens who have to flee their city? I hope its still there when you get back?

Fort McMurray people, stay safe. Its all you can do now.
snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)
Even when they yell "f**k off" to bystanders who are calling 9/11 to get them off the ice before they go over a hydroelectric dam. Really, we are the nicest people on the planet.

And this people is why I say "stay off the f***ing ice, you idiots" to random individuals trying this type of stupidity. Although why anyone would get onto ice anywhere near Peterborough (or anywhere in Southern Ontario) this winter is beyond me.

Oh well. They may not have even been eligible to win a Darwin Award due to their age but with talent like this its only a matter of time I'm sure.

snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)
Just a reminder that if you assassinate the Premier of Alberta Santa (and the other guys in red, the Mounties) will put you on their Naughty List and you'll get a big lump of coal in your stocking. Not to mention possibly receiving other things in the prison shower.

So here's what you need to do. First take some chalk and write on the blackboard 100 times "I will not assassinate ANYBODY". Then sit in the corner facing the wall for a couple of hours for your timeout, and then go eat at the kiddie table while the adults talk about adult things.

Oh and you're grounded until you do your homework on D'Arcy McGee and write a 1000 word essay on why he needs to remain the last Canadian politician ever assassinated.


And speaking of adult talk I do have to give kudos for Wildrose leader Brian Jean telling people to knock it off with the "put a pitchfork through her neck" rhetoric. There really is no place for it in civil society.

Link to the story here about this stupidity: http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/notley-assassination-comments-bill-6-brian-jean-1.3361063
snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)
Canadian Prison News!

Corrections Canada is putting out tenders for companies to provide federal inmates with gasoline, oil and fully functional chainsaws for vocational training inside their prisons. I fully support this. After all, what's the worse that could happen?

Luka Magnotta, best known for sending his boyfriend to various different locations (at the same time, and in various states of decomposition) has apparently set up a dating profile to find his prison "prince charming".  Something tells me he's over thinking the search a bit. From what I understand for people like him love finds you!

And in the most baffling move Canada's most infamous inmate Paul Bernardo is applying for what I can only call "Suicide by Parole Board" by requesting day passes to the Toronto area. All I can say is be very careful what you wish for Paul. In case you haven't noticed you're not exactly the most popular person in Scarborough. Heck you're the poster boy for the "Bring back the Noose" crowd in Canada and if you ever got released you might find all of them at your homecoming parade. That whole "Dangerous Offender" status thing just might work against you somehow.

Moving on to when Shakespeare said "Kill all the lawyers" I don't think he was talking literally. I also don't think he meant send pipe bombs to a law office in Winnipeg either. Here's hoping that poor woman recovers quickly and that they get this nutjob off the streets and into chainsaw training where he belongs.

And in the final bit of stupidity whoever is calling in bomb threats to Air Canada and Westjet planes in flight really needs to stop that. We only get about three months where we aren't imprisoned inside our own homes from all the snow on the ground. Smarten up and respect people's right to enjoy their vacation. The only fiery death a Canadian in summer should fear is when they light up the barbeque. Or as we call it, forest fire season.

Stay good and enjoy the Fourth all, if you celebrate it. :-)
snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)
Seriously I hope the BC conservation authorities can find these guys and hit them with the full force of the law. This is so not ok.

At least it looks like the poor thing was able to go about its business after these yokels were finished dishonouring the name of Canada.


snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)
Today a nice bicycle riding gentleman told me that as far as I was concerned I could go to Hell, simply because I didn't leap off of the narrow pedestrian walkway into speeding motor traffic just to get out of his way when he decided to zoom down it.

Personally I bear him no grudge. After all if he hadn't of stopped so I could walk around him safely I would have jumped. After all if I'm going to be hit by a vehicle speeding through areas its not legally allowed to be I'm not going to willing go under the tires. Not when I can instead jump over and land on a nice squishy meat pillow to break my fall. Heck, if I was in any condition to I'd even try to keep his spine stabilized while the ambulance comes.

What can I say? If someone wants to send my down to hell through their own recklessness then I insist on them coming with me so I can give them a guided tour and arrange proper accomodations. And with that in mind, lets have some AC/DC!

\m/  :-p    \m/

snowywolfowl: (Owl face)
This was released in 1981 and I never new about it? Something tells me this might be the oddest movie I've seen since I watched that North Korean monster movie last year.

Somehow I'm having trouble believing it but its on imdb.com and the CBC did a feature on it, so maybe? If it is then this has to be perhaps the greatest Darwin Award every filmed!

I am so definitely renting this.

snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)
As someone who has had to live a few days under lock down due to roaming gunmen randomly killing people I'd just like to say Moncton, you have my sympathies. Here's hoping this guy gets found and stopped. Preferably alive, but not if it means a sixth person gets shot.
snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)
Five university students killed at a house party in Calgary. Four people stabbed in a Regina mall.

What the hell?  This is just nauseating. My condolences to the victims and their families.

I really hope this isn't just part of a chain of copycats. :(
snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)
Here's a video showing the beauty of Northern Ontario in the winter. The snow on the trees, the special shade of light the sky has, and most of all the patience and skill that makes Canadians the best and safest winter drivers in the world. I mean, really, two inches Atlanta? You shut down your city for two inches? Tsk, tsk. That's not even a reduction in the average speed of travel here.



On the bright side the OPP have apparently identified the driver and laid charges. With that in mind now might be a good time to buy stock in dash cams. And trousers. And underwear. And car upholstry.
snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)

Paranoid, armed to the teeth and convinced any deception justifies the result. Exactly what I want my family to encounter next time we go to Florida.

Ontario licence plate? He's a terrorist


Honestly, I felt safer walking home at 3 am in Mumbai right after the terrorist attacks than I do in an American parking lot at night. I can beat a feral dog off with a rock, laptop bag, or tree branch. I can't put my brains back in after someone shoots me for whatever seems like a good idea at the time.

I can only hope that this man permanently forfeited all his firearms for this. If not I'm curious just how paranoid, senile, or lacking in good judgement one has to be to be disarmed for the safety of others. 
snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)

Paranoid, armed to the teeth and convinced any deception justifies the result. Exactly what I want my family to encounter next time we go to Florida.

Ontario licence plate? He's a terrorist


Honestly, I felt safer walking home at 3 am in Mumbai right after the terrorist attacks than I do in an American parking lot at night. I can beat a feral dog off with a rock, laptop bag, or tree branch. I can't put my brains back in after someone shoots me for whatever seems like a good idea at the time.

I can only hope that this man permanently forfeited all his firearms for this. If not I'm curious just how paranoid, senile, or lacking in good judgement one has to be to be disarmed for the safety of others. 
snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)

Paranoid, armed to the teeth and convinced any deception justifies the result. Exactly what I want my family to encounter next time we go to Florida.

Ontario licence plate? He's a terrorist


Honestly, I felt safer walking home at 3 am in Mumbai right after the terrorist attacks than I do in an American parking lot at night. I can beat a feral dog off with a rock, laptop bag, or tree branch. I can't put my brains back in after someone shoots me for whatever seems like a good idea at the time.

I can only hope that this man permanently forfeited all his firearms for this. If not I'm curious just how paranoid, senile, or lacking in good judgement one has to be to be disarmed for the safety of others. 
snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)
Ah bloody hell. Just tell the kids the hole is for them to plant a little garden in and move on. Just tell the parents the jumper's remains are fertilizer:

http://news.sympatico.cbc.ca/local/bc/dangerous_debris_falling_on_vancouver_daycares/02958104

I love how the daycare staff have to sweep the yard for needles and other debris every morning, and especially love how the health department would prefer the kids to play in the sunshine.  That's fair enough. At terminal velocity a suicide (or the other 200 lb debris that's been hitting the playgrounds) might just smash through any light awning and crater the playground anyway.

It's really not funny but thank God at least the guy jumped overnight and at least was found before the kids arrived.
snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)
Ah bloody hell. Just tell the kids the hole is for them to plant a little garden in and move on. Just tell the parents the jumper's remains are fertilizer:

http://news.sympatico.cbc.ca/local/bc/dangerous_debris_falling_on_vancouver_daycares/02958104

I love how the daycare staff have to sweep the yard for needles and other debris every morning, and especially love how the health department would prefer the kids to play in the sunshine.  That's fair enough. At terminal velocity a suicide (or the other 200 lb debris that's been hitting the playgrounds) might just smash through any light awning and crater the playground anyway.

It's really not funny but thank God at least the guy jumped overnight and at least was found before the kids arrived.
snowywolfowl: (Canadian Flag)
Ah bloody hell. Just tell the kids the hole is for them to plant a little garden in and move on. Just tell the parents the jumper's remains are fertilizer:

http://news.sympatico.cbc.ca/local/bc/dangerous_debris_falling_on_vancouver_daycares/02958104

I love how the daycare staff have to sweep the yard for needles and other debris every morning, and especially love how the health department would prefer the kids to play in the sunshine.  That's fair enough. At terminal velocity a suicide (or the other 200 lb debris that's been hitting the playgrounds) might just smash through any light awning and crater the playground anyway.

It's really not funny but thank God at least the guy jumped overnight and at least was found before the kids arrived.

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