
So I've been away from blogging and posting for a while now simply because, well, I just didn't want to for quite a while.
*shrug*
What can I say? My head space isn't always in the necessary shape to want to socialize much, either online or in person. And I just didn't feel I had much to say. Sometimes I get like that.
But like the Romulans of Star Trek: The Next Generation I'm finally feeling up to decloaking for all the world to see, and to boldly go into the Neutral Zone of the internet. So what does that mean gentle beings?
Rant time! And be honest you all know you missed it! :-)
So what to rant about? Well while it would be easy to go after the low hanging fruit of Donald Trump following up his claims that the Mueller Report clears him of collusion with foreign powers by stating he'd happily collude with any foreign power that has dirt on his opponents, I'm not going to go there. Like I said, its just too damn easy. So lets stick to stuff that is not going to inspire any heated discussions or feelings. Yep, lets rant about Sports!
Yes, I am jerk. :-)
So first off, congratulations St. Louis on finally winning the Stanley Cup 49 years after a airborne Bobby Orr ended your last trip to the big dance with the most famous photograph in hockey history.* You went literally from dead last midway through the season to champion and for that I applaud you.
*golf claps*
And now with that achievement in mind I have to apologize to every emotionally manipulative sob story of a kids movie that features a plucky band of nonathletic misfits defeating the heavily favoured trust fund kids from the country club. Yep, you heard me. I apologize. Your plot actually did come true, once, in a proverbial Blues moon.
Yep. I dropped a pun. Its going to be that sort of rant. :-)
So, continuing to speak of things that are happening once lets look to the playoffs Canada actually cared about this spring. Yep, lets head to Jurassic Park and tell Raptors fans to hey, chill the hell out because you're making the Warriors look like good guys with your antics. And that's hard to do despite Drake's non-stop efforts to be the biggest troll since The Three Billy Goat's Gruff.
Look, I'm as big a bandwagon fan as every other Canadian who literally hasn't cared about basketball since injuries stopped me from playing in Grade Ten back in the days when the first George Bush was president, but really, lets not embarrass the country here by cheering Kevin Durant's Achilles tendon injury**, or by heckling Steph Curry's family. Cut that crap out, Raptors fans! That's just as classless as a Warriors part owner shoving an opposing player so hard he shoved himself out of his own team's building for a year. But hey, its at least not to the level of that most heartfelt expression of sport fan emotion, the death threat. So with out further ado lets head to:
Part the Third! Death Threats and Classless Goal Celebrations courtesy of the US Women's Soccer Team in the World Cup.
Ok, ok, I sort of get why people were upset with the criticism leveled by some at the US team for celebrating a points total more likely to be seen at the Superbowl than the World Cup. Goal differential is a big part of determining standings in short format tournaments like this and so yeah, you score as many as you can, when you can, against whomever you can, without mercy, and without letup. Having a better goal differential can be the difference between getting an easy victory that sends you to the semi finals, and a first round sudden death ticket home. So with that said, I get why they gave the Thais the largest demonstration of American firepower since Operation Rolling Thunder tried to shut down the Ho Chi Minh Trail in neighbouring North Vietnam. And to be fair Canadian female soccer player turned analyst Kaylyn Kyle, who criticized the celebrations, gets that too...along with the aforementioned death threats for criticizing said celebrations. So with that said what do these death threats mean for US soccer in general?
Well, and I know I'm going to the fiery place deep underground for this but it means American soccer has made it to the big time! Honestly, I never thought I'd see the day where US soccer would begin to inspire the passions it inspires among other Western Hemisphere countries like Columbia, where players are shot dead for accidental own goals, and Honduras & El Salvador, who fought a shooting war over a soccer game. Heck, considering how technology has advanced I have to consider death threats from American sports fans passe. Frankly I'm surprised Ms. Kyle wasn't obliterated in a state sanctioned drone strike moments after calling for simple common sportsmanship.
Honestly, it brings a tear to my eye. Whoever would have thought the beautiful game, soccer, with all its riots, its hooliganism, its bat shit crazy levels of you've got to be kidding me insanity, would have ever captured America's imagination like stately, gentlemanly baseball did in the previous century? I mean when was the last time you heard of a baseball player getting shot for no valid reason?
Oh. Right. Bad example. Well let me just send my best wishes on your recovery Big Papi. Red Sox Nation and all sport fans wish you the best.
And with that I think that's enough laughter at the expense of recent sports insanity.
Have a great day all! :-)
*I'm not going to post it. Its on the internet and its the most famous photo in hockey history. If your curious its easy pickings to find.
**Any one who has laughed at someone who has suffered an Achilles tendon injury, even a mild one, is an asshole. Full stop. Those suckers hurt, and are terrifying because forget returning to pre injury form, if its bad enough you might not even walk correctly after. I hope he makes a full recovery but he's probably lost a lot of money in free agency with that injury, and that's unfortunate.